


Dazzled

by EliMorgan



Series: Here We Go Again; MMFBingo19 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Female Bucky Barnes, Gender or Sex Swap, Lesbian Character, Strong Language, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 23:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19239526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliMorgan/pseuds/EliMorgan
Summary: Lavender decorates Bucky for Pride Month. Bucky is... unimpressed.Clint is an 'innocent' bystander.Female!Bucky Barnes.





	Dazzled

**Author's Note:**

> **I do not own the works made use of herein, none of the Harry Potter/Marvel universe features or characters belong to me. I make no money from this work.**
> 
>  
> 
> Hi, again!  
> Another one-shot for MMFBingo19, filling in square I4 with some Bucky/Lavender action. I've realised that for a queer woman I sure do write a lot of straight stuff, and from the second I saw this pairing on my board I wanted to make Lavender do something bright and sparkly to Bucky's arm. This is what came out, after weeks of reworking my original ideas. I know it has been done before, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!  
> Enjoy!  
> Eliza x
> 
> P.S. None of the content of this fic is supposed to cause offence. It is purely Lavender outrageousness.

**[08:43] CLINT:** Hey, Lavender 

**[08:43] CLINT:** Where are you? 

**[08:43] CLINT:** You hiding? 

**[08:43] CLINT:** You should be. 

**[08:44] CLINT:** bc I'm going to KILL YOU 

**[08:45] LAVENDER:** that seems a bit extreme

**[08:45] LAVENDER** : what did I ever do to you? 

**[08:48] CLINT:** you tell me

**[08:48] CLINT:** y is your supersoldier tearing up my apartment

**[08:49] CLINT:** do you know how long it took me to decorate

**[08:49] CLINT:** months, lav. Months. 

**[08:51] LAVENDER** : ngl this sounds like a you problem

**[08:51] LAVENDER:** why r you bothering me? 

**[08:51] LAVENDER:** let me sleep

**[08:52] CLINT:** LET YOU SLEEP?!?! 

**[08:53] CLINT:** I'M STUCK IN THE VENT BC OF YOU

**[08:53] CLINT:** COULD YOU SLEEP IN A VENT? 

**[08:55] LAVENDER:** why are you in a vent tho that seems stupid

**[08:55] CLINT:** ...

**[08:56] CLINT:** BECAUSE YOU BEDAZZLED YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S ARM IN HER SLEEP THEN DISAPPEARED WHY DO YOU THINK?! 

**[08:56] CLINT:** I swear to god Lavender if you don't fix this 

**[08:59] Lavender:** oh yeah

**[08:59] Lavender:** forgot about that

**[08:59] Lavender:** kk one min

* * *

“Hey, sugarlump?” Lavender cooed, peeking around the front door into Clint’s apartment. “Are you here?”

She span backwards just in time to avoid flying pie.

"What the fuck, Lavender?!” Her girlfriend’s usually sexy-sexy-melty-chocolate voice screeched. Lavender winced in momentary regret, but it did only last a moment. She was awesome, after all, and this had taken a lot of preparation. 

“No need to swear, sweetheart. Or shout. I assure you, I can hear you perfectly fine.”

She could, actually - hear those soft footfalls coming closer, trying to be sneaky. Bucky could never sneak when she was angry, though; that was part of why she always went into the Dark Place when she fought. Otherwise, her enemies could just do what Lavender did. Apparate to the other side of the door.

As predicted, Bucky threw herself out, grabbing for where she thought Lavender should be. Lavender let out a peel of laughter at the sight of the six-foot-something woman stumbling into the wall, her nose squishing rather unattractively against the plaster. An ominous growl trickled from her mouth, but as Lavender suspected, when she turned around, Bucky’s wallop had made her less angry and more amenable to rational conversation - in that she was a little bit dazed, and momentarily distracted. That being said, Lavender  _ did  _ throw up her hands in the internationally recognised sign of surrender, and made sure to widen her eyes into their most endearing harmless-bunny-rabbit state.

“Now, before you get angry at me, can I remind you that it’s Pride month?" 

Bucky levelled those deadly dark eyes on her, those lovely lips clenched thin. "That's your excuse?" 

"It’s the month of super sweet homo-love," Lavender chirped, chancing a snatch of her hand. Bucky glared, but she allowed it to be taken. Lavender grinned in victory just feeling it in her hand. "Just think - you can be our new champion."

"Steve is the your champion," she sniffed. “Out and proud since 2009, or isn’t that what you told me?”

"Fuck Steve, we ladies need love too." Lavender batted her eyelids. “Me, especially.”

Far from being charmed, Bucky seemed to tense, tugging on her hand. She could recognise a trap when it came slamming down, even if it was done by an otherwise entirely harmless looking blonde. “I thought we’d had this discussion.”

Lavender aimed for a soothing squeeze of her hand, but if anything Buck only looked more terrified. “Not yet, we haven’t. You keep finding new and inventive ways to escape me. Congratulations on arranging that Quinjet fly-by, by the way, it was a really, very stylish exit. Bit of a dick move, though.” She allowed herself to soften, but not too much. Lavender wasn’t the only one who could make herself look like a harmless, vulnerable little dumpling, and she should be on alert for that at all times. “You told Tony ‘yes’, then avoided him for months. I’m not letting you do the same for me.”

At least she had the good grace to look mildly chastened, even if in her head she was cursing Stark out for getting Lavender involved in the first place. “I don’t know, Lavender… Steve’s  _ good  _ at this.”

“And he looks damn fine on a parade float, yes,” Lavender nodded sagely. “But is he enough?”

“He’s  _ Captain America _ ,” Bucky pointed out, dryly. Her muscles were quivering with her wish to run away, but she’d been avoiding this talk for months, and Lavender had spent just as long as that engineering this encounter. Buck had asked for time, which she’d been given, but there was a difference between respecting someone’s boundaries and just plain allowing them to hide. Bucky Barnes was many things: a supersoldier, an Avenger, an assassin; but the only identity she’d yet to fully come to terms with, despite how many nights she’d spent in Lavender’s bed, was her sexuality. “He’s perfect. At least, for them. You know I’m not.”

Lavender narrowed her eyes. "Do you know how few role models there are for queer women out there? Realistic ones? Because I can tell you - very, very few, and for some of us, porn and Netflix specials - with all of these sexy, put-together ladies who are funny and cute but  _ so much better than us  _ \- aren’t enough. You, however, spend ninety percent of your time in joggers, screaming at the TV like an old man, and the other ten percent literally killing nazis. Gotta be honest, Bucky, love; you are the hero we deserve. We  _ want. _ "

Lavender took a breath, but only long enough to pull the folder from her back pocket. “Look, if you don’t want to do this, then don’t. I’m behind you one hundred percent. But, please, just consider it? You could do such  _ good _ , Bucky-bear. Even if you only do one appearance, then nope the fuck out of there, at least we’d have  _ one  _ gorgeous lesbian superhero on our side.”

Bucky stared, her eyes completely dead, at the sheaf of papers in her hand for at least one solid minute. Lavender was just starting to get nervous when she said: "that is one hell of an elaborate excuse for bedazzling a rainbow on my arm when I'm sleeping."

Lavender opened her mouth, thought better of it, closed it, then changed her mind. "At least it was the prosthetic," she sang, then laughed brightly as Bucky pulled her close, sneakily slipping the folder from her hands as she did so.

“Do it again, and I’ll do far worse than scare your pet bird,” she muttered in her ear, nuzzling at Lavender’s nape. 

“That sounds fun,” her girlfriend teased, running her fingers through Bucky’s perpetually tangled hair. “Maybe I’ll do the bi-flag, next time…”

Her ensuing shriek echoed the halls, twinning with Bucky’s snarl. Clint’s door, however, finally fell shut as the blonde was chased back to their own rooms, and he dropped from his hidey-hole in the vents with a sigh. He knew better than to get involved in Lavender’s plots, he really did.

Didn’t he?

“Never. Again.” He told his phone, which only vibrated at him cheerily. 


End file.
